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About Deviant Artist C. Spyder WraistMale/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 13 Years
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loganneverscars
C. Spyder Wraist
Artist
United States
Current Residence: In a foxhole
Favourite genre of music: Hard or Death Metal, Industrial
Favourite photographer: Sihn
Favourite style of art: realistic/remade, dark gothic
Operating System: Any comp I can find
MP3 player of choice: My computer
Shell of choice: Mr. Crabs
Wallpaper of choice: Black
Skin of choice: yours on my body
Favourite cartoon character: Myself
Personal Quote: "You say envy the country with heroes, I say pity the country that needs them"
Interests
Listening To: Creed Higher
Mood: Reflective

I don't even want to be awake right now. I feel like such a wate of space. Why do I have to feel like this again?? I feel like the useless piece of food that someone didn't want to eat because it looked funny. But hey, what can I say, I probably deserve it.  
I'm just going to waste my life away fighting for a country that I don't even believe in. I'll probably be a victim of a misplaced bullet from one of my own men or something. It would serve me right.
John and my mom seem to have something special, that makes me happy in a way. I wish I had someone like my mom. She's the one reason I even stay alive right now, because she needs someone to look after and protect her. If she has someone else to do that, what am I here for?? So in a way, I'm kinda jealous. I don't even need to do what the other three at my house did last night. I know John would be good to her and protect her, i don't need to warn him or tell him I'd fuck him up if he ever did. I think it's kinda an unspoken fact.
My life seems to mean something to people who never can have a part of it. Sihn is like the father I never had, and Gage is the older brother I never got to look up to. My sister and I get along very well now, and my father hates me for going in the marines, because I broke the normal cycle of things. Well forgive me for wanting to actually be proud of something I do. Jesus, don't ever let charles be happy, that would be a totally fucked up thing now wouldn't it??
Maybe I'm just looking too far into it. It seems all my relationships get fucked up, or I get fucked over. And everything is always my fault too, that's the part that sucks. It's like everything I do, I can still put the final blame on myself. And it seems like the whole world ends up hating me for being the biggest asshole they know. Wow, I go from being perfect all the sudden to the biggest fucking prick on the face of the world. It's just not right in my eyes, but hey, I'm the one who fucks it up every time, so I guess I'd better just bite my lip and deal with it.
Does it really seem like I'm bitching, because I'm just releasing what I've been holding in forever . . .

Comments


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:iconloganneverscars:
loganneverscars Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2004
Love you right back dude, your my bro
Reply
:icondarkangelkyle:
DarkAngelKyle Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2004
I love you
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:iconloganneverscars:
loganneverscars Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2004
"my precious" are my favorite words
Reply
:iconzckd78:
Zckd78 Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2004
I saw your icon and " My precious.. " leaked into my head.
Reply
:iconbreatheyouin448:
BreatheYouIn448 Featured By Owner Jun 27, 2004
I heart you.
Reply
:iconlilitheternity:
lilitheternity Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2004   Writer
thankyou for the comment :hug:
Reply
:iconloganneverscars:
loganneverscars Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2004
Hey there yourself, buttheadette
Reply
:iconbreatheyouin448:
BreatheYouIn448 Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2004
"Buttheadette"? Thats creative.

*smiles faintly at you*

How are you doing hun? Long time no see, lol
Reply
:iconloganneverscars:
loganneverscars Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2004
Yeah, no kidding babe, I was worried something happened to you.
Reply
:iconbreatheyouin448:
BreatheYouIn448 Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2004
No. Nothing has "happened". Just the typical, dramatic, stupid things that worry my warped and twisted teenage mind. I went to IM you just a while ago. It was your mommy. Tell her I said hello. *hugs* miss ya.
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